Bar Exam Results Coming Out

It looks like the wave of various states' bar exam results are being released. The first major one was Florida which can be found here. What I like about Florida is that they don't release the names like every state does. They show who passes or fails by applicant number. Although people will eventually find out how you fared, it sure does deter everyone from snooping around your name. Oregon, on the other hand, displays its results to the public first  unlike California or many other states which allow applicants to view their results before they are made public. Technically, they don't list the names of people who didn't pass but essentially it's the same thing. Arizona actually lists the names of applicants who obtained the highest score in the exam. They also notify the employer of the top scoring applicant which is funny because they assume s/he has a job by then.  I don't understand why they would make it an honor because passing is passing. Granted, it'll definitely boost a resume in that whole "look at me, I'm cool!" factor and I wouldn't mind seeing where I fell for curiosity's sake.

Last Time Tears Fell From My Eye

Attorneys have a reputation for being cold, callous, and arrogant but I've been very fortunate to come across good people through my time. However, I've personally met a few lawyers who perpetuate those aforementioned stereotypes.

During my first year in law school, I clerked at the local public defender's office. I was mainly assigned to assist attorneys in the aggravated crimes division. One of  my duties consisted of gathering and summarizing vasts amounts of information and composing the collected data into a notebook which the attorney would use for his case.   I would sift through hundreds of documents like police reports, witness accounts collected from the office's investigators and my own efforts, crime scene and evidence photos, etc.. Since I got this information first, I would know more about the case than the attorney did. Normally, one project would take 6-7 hours to complete. In one particular homicide case, I spent a total of three days completing the task. I was so happy to be done because I completed it before my last day at the office. I was very proud, too, because I felt it was my best job. I didn't get to meet all the attorneys I made these notebooks for. I mostly worked with paralegals who taught me how to do these kinds of things. I was surprised how much of the law and the nuances of the criminal justice system these paralegals knew. It's really people behind the scenes that hold everything together. I didn't do much "lawyer work" such as writing motions or legal research. I did it a few times before I was assigned to this particular division. I didn't mind at all because this unit needed some support which I was eager to help. The paralegals were gracious I was there and my supervisor also appreciated my help.

So like I mentioned, it was my last day. There was only one paralegal and me present but she left early for her prenatal exam with her doctor. Before she left, she asked me to make copies for her in a case she was working on. I was in the supply room making copies and an attorney walked in. I introduced myself and he did as well. After some small talk, he saw me feeding the documents into the copier and asked me a question I still remember to this day, "Have you been doing anything meaningful besides copying?"At first, it took me a little by surprise. I didn't understand the meaning of that word , 'meaningful.' About two seconds passed before I  informed him of the work I was doing. He then said, "You're trying to be a lawyer and you're just doing that?" He rolled his eyes and  walked back to his office. At that moment, I didn't know what to think. The room felt quiet even with a machine spitting out paper next to me. I went back to the paralegal room and sat in my cubicle just staring at the computer screen which was as blank as my face. I was thinking about all the weeks I've been there. Me being the only clerk they've had in years. All the times waking up 5:30 in the morning and arriving back home 6 in the evening. My Friday nights being shot because all I wanted to do was rest. The more I thought, the more saturated my eyes became until a trail of tears came streaming down my cheek. I quickly gathered myself because I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Before I left, I logged into my computer to check all my documents were saved. I opened my last file, the one that took me three days to complete, and I saw the name of the the attorney who was going to handle the case. It was the same attorney who asked if I did anything meaningful.

I packed up my stuff and went to my supervisor's office to say bye. I thanked her for this opportunity and she was very grateful too. She told me to keep in touch because she'd like me to work there in the future. I never told her what happened. I just like to keep those things to myself. I'm actually glad I went through that experience. It motivated me through law school and still pushes me. I know one day I'll look back and see how far I've come. Got to keep on.

Transcripts of So Close Yet So Far

The following is a transcript of  voicemail messages left from a potential employer beginning from the reply to the rejection. Names and other information have been redacted to preserve anonymity.  These correspondences occurred in early July 2011. I've been saving similar voicemails for a long time. I have ones almost a year old now.  I've deleted other messages but I always keep these ones. I really don't know why I do it, maybe for the hell of it. Anyway, here it is:

Message 1 (July 12, 2011):

"Hello, this message is for [John Doe].  My name is [Hiring Attorney].  About three weeks ago, I posted an ad on craigslist for an entry level position with my office.  I went through your application and I was wondering if you would be able to come in for an interview sometime this week. Please, give me a call back as soon as you can. My phone number is [####]. Once again my name is [Hiring Attorney] and that number is [####]. Thank you."

Message 2: (July 19, 2011)

"Hello [John Doe], this is [Hiring Attorney]. I’m calling to see if you are still interested in the job position you interviewed for last week.  It’s between you and another attorney . If you are still interested, I’d like you to come in again and interview with my assistant, Jennifer.  She really runs everything and if you are hired, you’d be working with her a lot. So I think it’s important , she’d  have an idea of who the new hire would be. So if you can call my office and  schedule an appointment, that’d be great. Thanks!" 

Message 3 (July 26, 2011):

"Hey [John Doe] this is [Hiring Attorney], just calling to follow up with you from your interviews with the office. We did hire somebody else for the position but I want to thank you for your time and interest. I know nobody likes to come in second but unfortunately that’s what you did. Out of 200 attorneys who applied , you were the second best guy we had, so you almost got the job. I’m going to keep your resume on file. If we need somebody else, you’d be the first guy I’ll call and I wish you luck in whatever you do. I know you’re going to be a great lawyer for somebody.  Good luck to you , [John Doe.]"

Just Throwing It Out There

Well, I got a response from one of those state government jobs I applied to 5 months ago. It was just a letter saying if I'm still interested in the position to reply and if I don't hear anything within 3-4 weeks, just  assume I didn't get the position. Chances are I won't hear anything but there's still a chance right? I haven't been able to apply to more jobs because none are available for someone like me.

It's almost a year since I passed the bar. I still remember what I was feeling just waiting for those results. I didn't think too much about it until the few days leading to the results. Just the waiting game I'm playing right now with this job hunt. I can't believe how time flies.

Nothing In The Water

Well, I've been searching for the past two weeks and haven't found any job posting that doesn't require experience, fluency in Spanish, or graduating from the top of your class from a top 10 school. I also applied to a few non-attorney, albeit, legal positions in government offices. The chances of me getting those are really slim considering I applied to similar ones before and been rejected due to the availability of preferred veterans applying.

Original Blog Still Pending

Well,

I don't know what's taking Google so long to put up my original blog. Always just more to pile on. It's getting extremely frustrating trying to find a job and it's embarrassing telling family and friends I still don't have one. I find myself checking employment ads less and less. Just got to keep on.

Temporary Spot

Hey guys,

I'll be using this blog for now. Google, for some reason, deleted my main blog because they thought it was spam?! I sent a request to restore it so hopefully everything gets back to place. Well, nothing else is new to report. Still searching for a job.